The Story of Astrum Star IV
by Melty Cat
Summary: And so the time had arrived. No one knew it and so no one was prepared for the carnage that would ensue shortly after a light supper of toast and jam.


_This was a fic I started ages ago. It is based around the birth of the 4th seeker child from my Transformers satire fandom. So far, I only have part 1 finished. I do promise you it will get done eventually.  
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_- Melty Cat  
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**Part 1**

And so the time had arrived. No one knew it and so no one was prepared for the carnage that would ensue shortly after a light supper of toast and jam.

Rachel didn't like jam. In fact, when she looked back on the events she should have guessed that things were about to go ass-up from the moment jam was brought into the equation.

"I know", exclaimed Starscream lifting his head from off of his hand and glaring at Rachel, Hiita and Bumblebee with glowing optics, "We could have toast and jam!"

"Ooooh oohhh", chimed Bumblebee, gleefully clapping his hands and jumping up and down in his seat, "I simply LOVE toast and jam!"

Hiita frowned at her partner with a look of distain on her face. Why he always had to act so gay was beyond her logic. Instead of clipping his audio receptor, she thought it would be best to just agree with Starscream's suggestion of food stuffs. After all, her stomach was growling with hunger and it wasn't taking any more of this waiting around.

"I'll go get Soundwave to make us some", smirked Starscream getting up and walking to the doorway. "Oooohhhh SOOOUNDWWWAAAAAVE!?"

"Honey, don't be silly. You know Soundwave isn't here." Rachel rolled her eyes and stared upwards at her metallic husband.

"Slaggin' lazy bolts!"

"Now now... He's doing more than YOU are!"

Starscream looked down at his wife-unit and squinted his optics. "Whats THAT supposed to mean!?"

"Well, all you do is sit around eating toast all day and teaching Cobalt bad habits and ignoring your youngest daughter and..." Rachels voice seemed to fade out as Starscream started singing inside his head to drown out her nagging. She seemed to be getting worse for it as time went on. He figured it had something to do with pregnancy and all those hormones. He shuddered to himself at the thought of it, which in turn snapped Rachel out of her nagging fit.

"Are you even listening!?"

"Uh, yes Hummingbird! We'll get blue curtains next week!"

"That isn't what I was talking about..." She began to tap her foot on the floor, which was never a good sign. "If I wasn't about to drop this kid of yours, I'd seriously smack you, do you hear me?"

Starscream's eyes widened. "You're such a darling."

"Better believe it!"

Hiita was busy giggling to herself. Watching the two have a verbal battle was always highly amusing. She was so distracted, in fact, that she hadn't noticed that Bumblebee had left the room.

"Oh god. Where is he now!?"

Starscream and Rachel were interrupted by her sudden exclamation and swiveled round to see what was wrong.

"Hm?"

"Bumblebee has buggered off again!"

"HAH! You should learn to keep your eye on that pansy Auto-butt of yours!"

"HE'S NOT A PANSY!" Hiita glared at Starscream, before realizing what she had just said. "Wait... What?"

Before anyone could even think of saying another word, Bumblebee came bombing in, screaming his head off with three small Seekers attached to his limbs.

"GETTEMOFFAMEEEEE!"

"Silly fool", hissed Hiita walking over to him and slapping his head, "Its just Cobalt, Comet and Sirius."

Bumblebee just responded by showing how big his quivering lip was.

"Oh brother... OK, alright. Come on kids, off your Uncle, or you'll make him cry... And you don't want that!"

"Awwww!"

"I know, I know. He's no fun."

Bumblebee shot Hiita an offended look, which was answered by a sly grin.

"DADDY DADDY! GUESS WHAT!?" Cobalt ran up to his father and stared up at him.

"What?"

"Oh c'mon... GUESS!"

Starscream sighed and rolled his optics. "I don't know... Er... You saw Uncle Megatron and Uncle Optimus knitting... AGAIN!"

Rachel let out a giggle, before rubbing at her belly due to what felt like a pulled muscle.

"Nooo", laughed Cobalt, "Guess again!"

"Uncle Astrotrain ate another bagel of doom?"

"NOOO! HAHA!"

"Hmm...", Starscream placed a hand to his chin and rubbed it, before sarcastically gasping, "DON'T TELL ME! Uncle Bumblebee actually did something that was NOT gay for once!?"

"I heard that", sobbed Bumblebee, who was now in a corner as far away from the family as possible.

Cobalt was in hysterics, but managed to calm himself enough to continue the guessing game. "Nooo daaad! Guess again!"

"You... Kissed your sister?"

Cobalt made a disgusted face at his father and promptly put his hands on his hips and frowned deeply. "You aren't taking this seriously, are you dad?"

"I'm sorry, I'm just not good at guessing games!"

"No shit. The last guessing game you played ended in you getting pounded by daddy for taking so long", laughed Rachel holding her belly as tight as she could so as not to pull another muscle.

"Well, Megatron... Oh, sorry... 'DADDY'... shouldn't have made it such a hard guessing game then should he!?"

"He only asked what time of day you thought it was! All you had to do was look out the bleeding window, for christs sakes!"

Comet lifted her head up and ran up to her father. "Daddy, whooz crysst?"

"Wh-wha'?" Starscream looked down in surprise at his daughter, who had firmly attached herself to his left leg. "Oh, he was just some dude with a raptor head who went extinct for mankinds sins or something..."

Comet blinked in thought. "Oh..."

"And yes Cobalt, I'll guess. But only one more time!"

Cobalt smiled at his father and tilted his head. "'Kay!"

"OK, lets see. One more chance to guess... Hmm..."

Hiita, who was still comforting the blubbering wreck that was Bumblebee, lifted her head and stared at Starscream. "GET ON WITH IT THEN!"

"SHH! Anyway... Hmm... Oh I know", Starscream winked at his wife-unit before turning back to his small son, "You killed a flesh creature and came to tell me what a great job you did!"

"Nu-uh. I was going to tell you that Sirius can teleport properly now."

Starscream's face turned from a calm one to a look of thunder. He slowly turned round and glared at his wife-unit, gritting his teeth in the process.

"Oh honey... Don't start that again!"

Hiita could see what was going and and left Bumblebee's side to break up what was about to turn into an ugly mess. "Its ok Starscream. Its ok... OH LOOK! Isn't that a fangirl?"

"WHAT!?"

Suddenly a teenage girl wrapped herself around his leg and screamed some incoherent words about how much he ruled.

"ARGH! SLAGGIN' HELL! GET IT OF ME!"

He whirled his leg around and the fangirl flew off hitting a wall rather hard, knocking her unconcious.

"Brilliant... I better dispose of it before Megatron sees it..."

With that he picked up the human and exited the room.

"SO", smiled Hiita at Rachel, "Whats up?"

Rachel tilted her head at the unusual question. "Uhh... Nothing much. Although, it IS past Comet and Sirius' bedtime." She shot a look over to the two Seeklets, causing them to run off without questioning.

"So, how come Cobalt is allowed to stay up later?"

"He's had his first lot of upgrades. His 'Full Upgrade'."

"I thought Comet had had hers."

"Nah. Why do you think she still talks like that and can't write things properly?"

"Good point..."

Starscream had returned, but had decided he needed some serious decontamination from his close encounter of the fangirl kind and so he opened the decontamination room, cursing as he went. There was a loud hiss as he locked the door behind him, followed by loud singing as if he was in the shower. "OHHHHH MYYYYY DEEEEAREST CYYYBERTROOON!"

Rachel was too busy wincing with pain to notice or find it amusing. Her stomach had been getting stabbing pains for a good half hour and it was getting on her nerves.

"You ok", asked Hiita placing a hand on her shoulder.

"Yeah. I think I must have pulled a muscle or something."

"LOOOOVIIIING YOOOOOU..."

"I bet! Its all that fuc...er..." Her eyes slowly moved over to look at Cobalt who was stood there with a curious look on his face. "Er... Er... Knitting. Yeah. Its all that knitting you do."

"Its ok Auntie", giggled Cobalt putting his hands behind his back and rocking back and forth on his feet, "I know what knitting is now... Daddy told me everything!"

Hiita's eyes widened. "Woah!" She turned her head to look at Rachel with a very shocked expression. "You were right about a full upgrade! Are you sure its safe to tell a child of his age such deep, dark secrets?"

"Yeah... He can handle them. He's a Decepticon!"

"MYYY ONNLLLYYY LOOOOVE..."

Hiita rolled her eyes before being startled by an odd noise.

"Whats making that bleeping sound?"

"Oh shit!"

Bumblebee raised his head from the corner he was in. "Oooh! Is someone baking cookies!?"

"No, you idiot!"

"Oh boy", shouted Cobalt joyfully, "Mommy's having the baby!"

"TAAAKE MY HAAAAND OH SWEEE... Hey, a dollar!"

"What!?" Hiita virtually leaped out her skin. Bumblebee would have too, if he had any... "NOW!?"

"Yes", gasped Rachel trying not to scream in agony, "NOW!"

"OHHAAALLLP! I'M GONNA DIE!" Bumblebee jumped out the spot he was in and began to run in circles.

"No you aren't you stupid tin can!"

"HAH! Uncle Bumblebee is freaking out!" Cobalt pointed and laughed at his Uncle, jumping up and down with excitement.

"Bumblebee", shouted Rachel in between deep breaths, "If you want to do something useful, call Ratchet for gods sakes!"

"Ratchet... Ratchet? OH! Ratchet! GOT IT!" A few seconds passed in which Bumblebee did nothing.

"ARE YOU GOING THEN OR NOT!?"

"OH! Y-yes!"

Bumblebee exited the room in a blurr of yellow, nearly bumping into Megatron who was on his way to the Decontamination room himself.

"YOU PIECE OF SCRAP! YOU NEARLY HIT ME", he roared, shaking his fist as the Autobot dissapeared into the distance. He continued to the Decontamination room only to find it locked. "WHAT!? Who is in here!?"

"ME!"

"Well open up, I need it more than you do!"

"Oh yeeaah", chimed Starscream playfully, "HOW much!?"

"THIS IS NO TIME FOR STUPID QUESTIONS! OPEN UP! THATS AN ORDER!"

"First you have to tell me why you need it so bad!"

"BECAUSE I HAD A RUN IN WITH YOUR WIFES GRANDMOTHER!"

"Aaaand...?"

"AND NOTHING! OPEN UP!"

"AAAAND...?!"

"Grr... She kissed me because she found out my name is Cybertronianformrgrt..." The end of his sentence garbled as he lowered his voice in shame.

"What was that!?"

"Starscream... Don't make me hurt you."

"I can't hear yoooou!"

"I SAID SHE KISSED ME BECAUSE SHE FOUND OUT MY NAME IS CYBERTRONIAN FOR MARGARET! HAPPY NOW!?"

The door flew open and Starscream literally fell out of the room laughing and rolled across the corridor so Megatron could enter. "HAAAHAHAAAA! YEAH! You WERE right! You DO need it more than me!"

Megatron rolled his optics before entering the room. He knew that Starscream would never let him live that one down.


End file.
